Hi there,

Have you ever wondered why you do what you do? Let's discuss how your behaviour can be influenced by what's going on in your head to learn how your thought can affect your decision and shape your life.

Your thoughts are the little voices in your head that constantly chatter away. They can be conscious or unconscious ideas, beliefs, perceptions, and attitudes that shape our understanding of ourselves, others, and the world around us. Your thoughts can be like a fog, clouding your thoughts and judgment, or they can be a beacon of clarity that allows you to make wise decisions and find the necessary peace and balance.

But how often do you actually take the time to question your thoughts? And why is it important to do so?

The ability to question our own thoughts is an essential tool for self-mastery simply because what's in our head can help us gain perspective on our feelings, better understand ourselves and develop healthier thinking patterns. When we take the time to ask ourselves why we think certain things or feel certain emotions, we're more likely to become more aware of the underlying issues that are driving those feelings. This understanding gives us greater control over our responses and allows us to choose how we react in situations.

Our thoughts shape our lives in so many ways. We have all experienced moments when our minds become consumed by worries and doubts, and it can be difficult to make sense of it all, especially when your head is clouded, and your heart is restless. But one thing is for sure: if you want to be able to control your life and feelings, you must learn how to question your thoughts.

Questioning our thoughts helps us gain perspective on our feelings, better understand ourselves and develop healthier thinking patterns. When we take the time to ask ourselves why we think certain things or feel certain emotions, we're more likely to become more aware of the underlying issues that are driving those feelings. This understanding gives us greater control over our responses and allows us to choose how we react in situations.

Questioning our thoughts also helps build resilience as it encourages us to look at situations objectively instead of emotionally. By learning how to challenge negative thought patterns, we can break out of destructive mental loops and make better decisions for ourselves in difficult times. Understanding different types of cognitive distortions - such as blaming yourself for something out of your control - also helps reduce stress levels and can even help improve mental health!

The problem with automatic thoughts and how they affect us

We all go through life with a constant stream of thoughts running through our heads, but have you ever stopped to think about how these thoughts are formed and what impact they have on your life? This is the concept of automatic thinking, and it can play an important role in how we perceive reality.

Automatic thinking is defined as unconscious thought processes driven by habit, emotion or conditioning. These thoughts can influence our emotions, behaviours, and decision-making without our realising it. Common examples are self-critical thoughts like "I can't do this" or catastrophic predictions like "everything will go wrong." Automatic thoughts can be positive too – like reminding yourself how capable you are – but often, they tend to be negative.

So why does automatic thinking matter? Well, when we become aware of our own thought patterns, we gain greater control over our lives. We can start to recognise when our minds are filling up with doubts and worries and take steps to challenge them. This allows us to reduce stress levels and make better decisions in difficult times.

It's also important to note that everyone has automatic thoughts. Becoming aware of unconscious tendencies gives us the power to change any unproductive patterns for the better and create healthier habits for ourselves. Would you like to learn how to gain more awareness of automatic thoughts and take control of them to find peace and balance to make wise decisions? Let's discuss it in the next segment.

Examples of common automatic thoughts and their consequences

Automatic thoughts, or "cognitive distortions" are patterns of thinking that can adversely affect our emotional state. Common examples include:

Catastrophising

Catastrophising is a common automatic thinking pattern where we magnify a situation, often turning it into an exaggerated “doomsday” scenario.

Examples of catastrophising can include:

• Assuming the worst-case scenario when faced with an uncertain outcome.
• Believing that bad events will last forever without considering any hope for resolution.
• Exaggerating the chances of something terrible happening in the future.

This type of thinking can lead to feelings of unnecessary fear or anxiety and can even cause us to become paralyzed from taking action. By recognising this cognitive distortion, we can start challenging our thoughts and looking for more realistic outcomes, leading to greater control over our emotions and behaviours.

Personalisation

Personalisation is a common automatic thought pattern that involves taking events or situations personally, even when there may be no evidence to support this interpretation. In other words, when we engage in personalisation, we tend to assume that negative events or experiences are our faults, even if they have nothing to do with us.

Examples of personalisation thinking include:

• assume that the relationship ended because you were not good enough or did something wrong rather than considering other factors such as compatibility or timing.
• you're not invited to a social event and assume that you were intentionally left out or that your friends don't like you rather than considering other reasons such as limited space or conflicting schedules.
• you didn't get a job offer may assume that you were not qualified or did not interview well enough rather than considering other factors such as a high volume of applicants or a company hiring freeze.
• you receive criticism or feedback may automatically assume that the criticism is a reflection of your own incompetence or flaws, rather than considering that the criticism may be constructive or based on subjective opinions.

Personalisation can have a number of negative consequences. For example, it can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, or self-blame, even when we have done nothing wrong. It can also make us more sensitive to criticism or rejection, as we are more likely to interpret these experiences as a reflection of our own flaws or shortcomings.

All-or-nothing thinking

All-or-nothing thinking, also known as “black-and-white thinking” is a cognitive distortion where we view ourselves in extremes. We often classify events or situations as either perfect or terrible – without considering any in-between possibilities. This can lead to feelings of extreme disappointment and inadequacy when we don’t meet our own high standards.

Examples of all-or-nothing thinking include:

• Thinking that something must be done exactly right. Otherwise, it is a complete failure.
• Believing that you are either successful or a total failure.
• Expecting yourself to be perfect in every situation.

By recognising this type of thinking, we can start challenging our beliefs and expectations by creating more realistic goals for ourselves. This allows us to create space for failure while still feeling successful overall.

Overgeneralisation

Overgeneralisation is a cognitive distortion where we come to conclusions based on limited information. This type of thinking involves making general statements about a situation without considering the context or evidence. It can be damaging as it leads to unfounded assumptions and negative self-talk.

Examples of overgeneralisation include:

• Thinking that because one thing went wrong, everything in your life will go wrong.
• Believing that because you failed at something once, you will always fail.
• Assuming that everyone else has it easier than you do.

By recognising overgeneralisation, we can start to challenge our thoughts and look for evidence to support or refute our beliefs. Doing this can help us see situations more clearly and reduce feelings of worry or helplessness.

Emotional reasoning

Emotional reasoning is a cognitive distortion where we make decisions based on how we feel rather than what the facts are telling us. This type of thinking leads us to believe that our feelings accurately reflect reality. It can lead us to draw inaccurate conclusions and make decisions that don’t align with our values.

Examples of emotional reasoning include:

• Believing that if you feel guilty, you must have done something wrong.
• Assuming that because you feel anxious, there must be something to be afraid of.
• Thinking that if you feel incompetent, it must be true

By recognising this type of thinking, we can start to make decisions based on the evidence and not just our emotions. This allows us to respond appropriately in situations and make decisions that are consistent with our beliefs and values.

The Art of Questioning Our Thoughts

So, how can you identify automatic thinking? Here are a few steps you can take:

Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings.

Start to notice when you're feeling a certain way, and try to identify what thoughts might be contributing to those feelings. For example, if you're feeling anxious, try to identify what thoughts might be making you feel that way.

Look for patterns.

Once you start to pay attention to your thoughts and feelings, look for patterns or recurring themes. Do you tend to have the same types of thoughts in certain situations? Are there certain triggers that tend to set off your automatic thinking?

Keep a thought diary.

One way to identify automatic thinking is to keep a thought diary. This involves writing down your thoughts and feelings throughout the day, and looking for patterns or recurring themes. By doing this, you can start to identify any negative or unhelpful thought patterns that might be contributing to your feelings.

Techniques for questioning our thoughts

1. Socratic questioning

Socratic questioning is a powerful tool for exploring complex ideas. It involves asking questions to stimulate critical thinking and uncover underlying assumptions. It can be used to challenge one's own beliefs as well as the beliefs of others.

Questions may involve examining the validity, accuracy, or reliability of an argument or statement. Examples of Socratic Questions include:

• What do you mean by that?
• How do you know that’s true?
• Could you provide an example?
• Are there alternative explanations?

Using Socratic questioning can help us think more deeply about a subject and come to more accurate conclusions. It is also useful for helping resolve conflicts and developing empathy.

2. Reality testing

Reality testing is an important cognitive skill for examining our thoughts, beliefs, and assumptions about reality. It involves questioning our interpretations of events and challenging our own biases. Reality testing can help us identify irrational or distorted thinking and make sure that our beliefs are accurate and consistent with external evidence.

Examples of reality testing include:

• Validate your emotions – check if they are justified by the situation.
• Consider alternative interpretations of a situation.
• Search for evidence to support or disprove your interpretation.
• Question your assumptions about other people’s intentions.
• Get feedback from trusted sources to help you gain perspective.

Reality testing can help us recognize any irrational or inaccurate thoughts we may be having so that we can respond more appropriately in a given situation.

3. Reframing

Reframing is a cognitive technique that aims to change our perception of an experience or situation. It involves shifting our perspective by highlighting different aspects of the situation and examining them more closely. Reframing can help us break free from limiting beliefs and emotional blocks that may be hindering our progress.

Examples of reframing techniques include:

• Finding the hidden benefits or advantages of the situation.
• Identifying the patterns or lessons you can learn from it.
• Breaking down problems into smaller, more manageable tasks.
• Adding a humorous twist to difficult situations to make them less overwhelming.
• Looking for new ways to solve a problem.

Reframing helps us look at circumstances in new and different ways. It enables us to gain a better understanding of ourselves, others, and life in general.

How questioning our thoughts can lead to positive changes

Overcoming self-doubt:

Many of us struggle with self-doubt and negative self-talk, which can hold us back from pursuing our goals and dreams. By questioning these thoughts and beliefs, we can start to challenge their validity and replace them with more positive and empowering beliefs. For example, if someone has a thought like "I'm not good enough to pursue my dream career," they might ask themselves, "What evidence do I have to support this belief?" They might realize that they actually have many skills and experiences that make them well-suited for their dream career and that their self-doubt is holding them back.

Improving relationships:

Our thoughts and beliefs can also impact our relationships with others. For example, if someone has a belief like "No one really cares about me," they might start to withdraw from social situations and isolate themselves from others. By questioning this belief, they might realize that there are people in their lives who care about them and want to support them. They might start to reach out to friends and family more often, which can improve their relationships and overall well-being.

Overcoming anxiety:

Anxiety can be caused by automatic thoughts and beliefs that create fear and worry. By questioning these thoughts, we can start to reduce anxiety and improve our mental health. For example, if someone is anxious about an upcoming event, they might have a thought like "Something bad is going to happen." By questioning this thought and looking for evidence to support it, they might realize that there is no real reason to believe that something bad will happen. They might be able to replace this thought with a more realistic and positive one, like "I've handled similar situations in the past and can handle this one too."

Final thoughts

In essence, mastering your mind involves being conscious of every thought you have and examining whether it is beneficial or not. This means avoiding getting too attached to any one idea or viewpoint and instead viewing things through a curious lens which allows flexibility when dealing with difficult circumstances.

At first, it may seem like an impossible task but by taking small steps like challenging cognitive distortions, inviting new perspectives and becoming aware of your own biases – you’ll soon start noticing positive changes in the way you think, feel, behave and interact with others!

With gratitude,

The content, products and services of this website are not meant to substitute any advice provided by mental health and medical professionals. If you suspect that you're facing mental-health-related problems, you're strongly encouraged to seek professional help.