Hi everyone,

In this blog post, I'm going to share with you something that happened very recently, which led me to retrospect some interesting perspectives that I had observed on the topic of becoming your best self.

A couple of weeks ago, a good friend of mine organised a party, and I was honoured to have received the invite to be a part of it. As indicated on the invite, it was supposed to be a formal event. So, on that very day, I dolled myself, took a couple of photographs and posted them on Facebook. What's interesting was the aftermath responses I'd gotten from the posting of these photographs. On my FB post, I didn't mention the reason for being so dress-up that weekend, and a couple of well-meaning friends had sent me text messages (which I find intriguing), asking if I was going on a date, thus the effort. LOL!

Sorry to disappoint, peeps. I wasn't going on a date that day... to those who had thought that was the reason why I was dressed up. FYI, dressing to the occasion is part of what I teach in my image workshops. Always dress appropriately to the nature of the event, as this is about showing respect to the host who had extended the kind invitation to me. As far as I'm concerned, dressing for the occasion is also a form of respect for self too.

Making an effort to look good is part of self-care. Other than dressing up, self-care could include physical care, such as working out to keep fit and mental care to embrace positivity and happiness.

Our mind and body are one - the way we look impacts how we feel about ourselves, and vice versa. We feel great after a workout at the gym. For women, we feel fabulous and confident when we put on a little makeup and get dressed up a little. Even though a single visit to the gym and a little makeup on our face may not contribute to much physical change that is likely to make us significantly different from before, we feel good about ourselves because we are doing something to care for ourselves.

The key is making the effort to seek our personal best. This effort rendered makes us feel great. I consider 'making an effort in all my endeavours the most essential value of my life.

At this point, I would like to highlight a couple of mindsets/attitudes I've seen but do not support:

• I'll put in the effort to look good when I start dating.
• I'll find my way to positivity when I find my true love.
• I'll feel more confident when I get a job promotion.
• I'll be more self-motivated when I get my dream job.

And the list goes on...

The above seems to suggest that an individual will only make an effort to manifest their personal best self when they arrive at a specific situation or get what they seemingly want, be it a job promotion or getting the relationship one desires. It also implies that they'll inherently become more positive, happier, inspired and driven when they achieve a particular milestone. In this case, happiness and having the right attitude come naturally when the 'right things happen. Or will it?

Feeling positive, confident and getting motivated are attributes leading to achieving our better selves. I do not think that the quest to become the best version of ourselves happens naturally. Though landing our dream job, getting the promotion we've been working hard for or entering a relationship with our dream guy or gal may be a compelling reason for us to want to embrace a better version of ourselves. That said, this ideal 'better version' of ourselves doesn't quite happen overnight. Being our personal best takes some serious commitment and discipline. Agree?

Thus, bringing out the best within us takes a little due diligence and some conscious effort, and here are my 3 tips for becoming the best version of yourself.

1. Do it because you want to.

We should want to be our best selves because we want to, and not do so for others. Please don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that wanting to do things for your significant other is wrong. It is simply because love isn't about perfecting who we are to qualify for love or to be loved in return. I believe that when 2 people are engaged in a healthy relationship, they are making a decision to be together and committing to the love they both share. Growth and progress are critically important aspects of a healthy relationship. You and your partner can grow together in many aspects of your life, and that is what makes being in love wonderful.

More importantly, love can't fix who we are not if we do not have a positive mindset (which most of us are hardwired to negativity, based on evidence suggested by many psychological studies. I'm also admitting to the very fact that I do have my moments. Therefore, I'm not all the time positive); being in a relationship will not turn us instantly into happy, secure and positive people. Maybe it does for a moment because of the love and passion you are feeling at the initial stage of a relationship. However, the positive vibe is unlikely to last if it is not in you.

We cannot give what we do not have. Hence, we need first to possess what we desire to give. We must first create and manifest within ourselves the qualities (which may include love, compassion, peace, honesty, patience, etc.) that we wish to see in the person we want to love. And, we need to become the very person we want to love.

2. You deserve the very best version of yourself.

Don't you think you deserve the very best of everything in life? Which that also includes having the best YOU. Yes! Think of the very lovable you. A very special you who has the ability to illuminate the world with your awesomeness. There is no boundary, no limit to how irresistible you can be. Regardless of your relationship status and your job title, these are external factors and events that do not define who you're and the potential you possess. You determine who you're and the kind of person you'd like to be.

3. Becoming the best version of you starts now.

There is no better moment than NOW to start being the best you. Bringing out the best within you begins this very moment. If we're merely committed to procrastination, hoping that tomorrow will be a better day, being the better version of yourself will never happen. Endless desire does not bring forth effort, which will lead to concrete actions that catapult the growth needed for us to evolve to the next level. Instead of 'hoping', it's time to put in the effort and work towards being our personal best.

The journey to becoming your best self may not be an easy process. But I can promise you that it is going to be worth your every effort. Simply because you are an extraordinary being and you deserve to be the very best of yourself, for yourself.

I hereby wish you all the very best. 

Thank you for reading.

With much love,